Prime Time: Amazon Driver Delivers Deadly Defensive Shot; Carjacker Gets Free Shipping of Bullet  

by Vern Evans
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A Cleveland Amazon driver was busy delivering his daily run of goop Hyaluronic Acid Serum, Stanley cups, James Patterson novels, leggings and Manspot Manscape Groin Hair trimmers last Saturday afternoon when he was approached by an armed thug waving a gun in his face. As if it wasn’t bad enough that he had to work on a Saturday, now he was being faced with an idiot who wanted to highjack his truck full of packages.

According to police and WKYC News, an altercation ensued.

The driver, apparently thinking, “screw this,” managed to deliver a shot into his assailant during the struggle. The carjacker, despite receiving a delivery of lead to the body free of charge and in less than two days, wasn’t interested in the deals the Amazon employee was offering and decided he wanted to play driver instead.

As he took the wheel of the Amazon truck, however, his injuries proved too much, and the 17-year-old bandit coasted to a smashing end like Mr. French in the Departed. The suspect was pronounced dead at the scene by Cleveland EMS, and while the case remains under investigation, all signs point to this being a righteous delivery.

There was no word from Amazon on if the deliveries of any of the other packages were late.

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